wahlee

Mere days after starting my new job, they took my grandpa to the hospital. Turns out his cirrhosis has finally resulted in full-on liver failure. It's difficult to know exactly how long he has, but it's not long. We've all been coping with the news as best we can, trying to be upbeat.

Today, my grandma, his wife, was diagnosed with extensive bone cancer.




I guess the bright side is that neither will have to live without the other for long? I don't even know.




In the meantime, tomorrow's the fifteenth of April, and work is therefore kicking my butt. At least I'm getting time and a half for the overtime.

And here I was hoping that 2010 would be better than 2009. Guess not.

I love random entries, don't you?

Today is my brother's (and sister-in-law's) 5th wedding anniversary. Which is both awesome and CRAZY. It's gone so fast! We're babysitting the girls while they go out to dinner. Right now there's some intense negotiations going on as to whether we're going to watch "Lulan" (Mulan), which Molly wants, or "The Doggie Show" (101 Dalmations), which Anna wants. Since Anna got to watch Snow White the last time they were here, I think Molly's going to win. Which is okay with me, because when we watch Mulan Molly sings along. She doesn't know what half the words mean, but she sings them anyway, and it's SUPER ADORABLE.

I have a Grumpy plushie that I brought upstairs when we watched Snow White the other night, and Anna does NOT like it. She says it scares her. I told her that I'll buy a Dopey next time we go to Disneyland. That made her happier.

Which is at the end of February. Our going to Disneyland, that is. The whole fam damnly, including my Grandma By, is going. We're getting two timeshare units through my brother-in-law's brother and spending 5 days in the parks. It will be the last use of the Annual Passports that my sister and I bought last March. 4 trips with them, not a bad deal. I'm super excited to share one of my favorite places with my favorite nieces and nephew. The girls meeting the princesses, Thomas meeting Mater and McQueen-- it's going to be so fun. And my dad's coming, and I've wanted to get him on Soarin' Over California since the minute I rode it. We're driving down on Saturday, taking Sunday to let the kids recover from the trip, then heading to the parks for the week before driving back the next Saturday. Can't wait.

I've recently been obsessed with sunflower seeds and guyere cheese. Not together, of course. :P Reduced salt sunflower seeds, still in the shells. Guyere cheese with nice crusty bread. Mmmm.

I'm taking a Wilton fondant and gumpaste class, mostly for my sister, who desperately wanted to take it and couldn't unless two more people signed up so the class would carry. Tomorrow will be the first time that I actually work with the fondant, and I'm kind of excited. Also nervous, seeing as how I never took the basic Wilton class. :P

I've had my Nook since Dec. 23, and I am LOVING it. The first book I read on it was Pride and Prejudice, of course. Right now I'm working my way through Right Ho, Jeeves, which is, of course, hilarious. I'm loving all the free books I can get for it, and that it doesn't cause eye strain, and just how gosh darn cool it is. I have named it Tom, and I'll give House Points to whoever can tell me why. :P

I've been knitting a bit more lately, what with all this free time and all. I'm knitting some fingerless mitts for the Disneyland trip-- we bought yarn for each of us ladies who are going and are making the same pattern. I'm doing mine right now, then will knit some for my grandma and mom (since they don't knit). I also got some yarn to make mini versions for the litle girlies. Hopesully I'll have enough time to make some for they guys and the little man, too. I've got yarn for Thomas already. I'm also planning on doing the Ravelympics-- where you cast on for a project during the Olympics opening ceremonies, and cast of during the closing ceremonies. I've joined TeamUtah, and the team decided to knit only patterns by Utah designers. So that's fun.

I also signed up for a mystery Knit-a-Long. The idea is that you sign up, buy yarn, and get a clue every couple of weeks. You knit the clue, then get the next clue, etc., etc., and at the end you have a gorgeous shawl! Except, of course, that you don't know what you're going to end up with before you start. This particular shawl is called "Evenstar," and it's based, of course, on LotR. I figured what better way to celebrate finishing my LotR thesis than knitting a LotR-themed shawl? With gorgeous silver silk laceweight yarn, of course.

I cleaned my room! Can you believe it? My carpet is, indeed, a cream color. I still need to do quite a bit of destashing and organizing, but Progress Is Being Made, which is always good. Next week I'm going to clean of my desk, so I can move it out of the room and set up the new desk I bought back in July. Which will make my mom happy, since the box with the desk in it has been taking up space in her fruit room since, you know, July. :P

Shows I'm loving currently: Leverage, Lark Rise to Candleford, The Mentalist, and NCIS. Last movie I saw in the theatres: Sherlock Holmes, which I adored and which I want to see again. Also rereading the whole HP series, and am on PoA. Love those books.

I am on Twitter and Facebook, if anyone's interested. Facebook is my real name, Twitter username is same as on LJ.

Time for some sunflower seeds, as I'm currently out of guyere. :P

2009 was an interesting year. Lots of really good things happened-- I took lots of fun trips to Disneyland; attended lydaclunas's wedding, where I got to meet rj_anderson, risti, callyperry, and Melanie aka drummergirl in person for the first time, and see angua9 again; had my best friend cuteculturechic move back to Utah; made a few new friends and reconnected with some old ones; spent tons of time with my family, especially my absolutely ADORABLE nieces and nephew; and, most importantly, FINISHED MY THESIS AND THEREFORE MY MASTERS DEGREE!!!!!!

But there were some bad times, too. I struggled with writers' block and depression, I lost a job I really enjoyed in June and still haven't found a new one, and as a result have been unable to pull myself out of debt. But, honestly, the good times have far outweighed the bad, at least in my memory. So I think, in retrospect, 2009 will be remembered as a good year.

That's not to say I'm not looking forward to new and better things in 2010. :) First order of business is to find a job, and work on getting out of debt. I'm also fully committed to being a better friend this year-- both in person and online. And I'm going to work hard to be better with my health-- exercise, sleep, nutrition, the works.

So I hope to see you around a bit more this year. Let's see what new days will bring!

My defense is at 12:00 on Friday.

I'm starting to freak out.

One hour of the defense is focused on the thesis, and considering how much time I've spent thinking about all the issues surround that blasted thing, I'm not too awfully scared about that part.

But the other hour is about my coursework. You know, those classes that I took anywhere from 3-5 years ago? Yeah.

I've been trying to review the literature I read, but there's simply no way to do 3 years worth of courses in two weeks (especially when some of it consists of 1400-page out-of-print novels :P). So I'll do the best I can, then cross my fingers and hope for the best.


Especially since I want to get my graduation present. :D

So, yesterday was the 1-week anniversary of my layoff. I didn't even remember until I was in bed for the night. It's been an interesting week.

And I'm doing fine.

No, really. I'm actually quite surprised at how well I'm taking it. I really have been able to look at this whole thing as a gift, rather than as a misfortune. Of course, who knows how long this will last-- maybe when my savings account starts looking much more meager than it is now. But for now, I'm fine.

Some of it, of course, is because I'm in such a different situation this time around. While the layoff was just as sudden-- or even more so, since I got about 20 minutes notice before I clocked out for the last time-- I've been sort of mentally preparing myself for a while, just in case. I also got 2 weeks of severance pay and all my unused vacation, which I didn't get last time. My unemployment payment will be higher and extend for a longer period of time, since I worked more last year for more pay. I qualify for COBRA, and also for the federal COBRA subsidy, which means I'm guaranteed my current benefits for at least 18 months for only a little more than what I'm currently paying. I still live at home and have relatively few expenses (a student loan and a credit card payment, and that's about it), so I'm not too worried about my finances.

And mentally, I'm just in a much better place. I've been seeing a therapist for several months now, and have been taking an anti-depressant. And when I attended lydaclunas's wedding (which was AWESOME, and which I was in the process of writing about when I got laid off and therefore distracted), I spent the weekend either talking about theology and my thesis with callyperry and Melanie or writing processes with rj_anderson and risiti, or both, I came home ready to GO on my thesis. No, I haven't written anything yet-- I'm still trying to get my room clean so I have a pleasant place to write-- but I've got ideas. I've got plans. I feel a definite need to make my voice heard on this subject. And now I have all the time I need.

Last time, I was so worried about finding a new job that I still couldn't write. This time, I'm not going to worry. I'm going to seize the time I've been given, this wonderful chance to finish my thesis before time runs out, and run with it. I'll apply for jobs, of course, but only the minimum needed to keep my unemployment benefits. If I get one, great. If not-- it's okay. It really is.

Not that I don't miss my job. It was a great job, with great people. Hopefully the powers-that-be who decreed that I had to be let go will come to their senses and realize how much they need me, and I can go back. If not-- there's going to be something around the corner. Maybe even something better. Who knows?

For right now, though, I'm okay where I am. And that's a wonderful feeling-- one I haven't had in a long, long time.

The family are doing as well as can be expected.

What happened was this: they were driving down the freeway, in the middle lane. Ben looked in the rearview mirror at Thomas for a second, then looked back at the road, where he saw what he thought was a semi tire tread. He swerved to miss it, and overcorrected. The car went through the fast lane and the carpool lane into the shoulder, where it slammed into the concrete barrier and flipped onto the roof. They didn't hit anyone else, and no one hit them, which is a miracle. The highway patrol and the fire department came almost immediately, and three cars stopped to help right after the accident. Laura, Abby, and Thomas rode in the ambulance to a service station, where Mom and Dad picked them up while Ben stayed with the car until it was towed, then he got a ride with the Highway Patrol. The paramedics checked them all out and cleared them to go, but Mom and Dad took Laura to the emergency room up here just to be safe. The car flipped on Laura's side of the car, so she got the worst of it-- a few cuts on her face and on her feet (she was wearing flip-flops) from the shattered windshield, some bruising from the seatbelt across her chest and waist, and a nice abrasion from the seatbelt on her neck and chest. Ben has a bit of a stiff neck and some bruising from the seatbelt as well. Abby (who is almost 6 months old) seems to be unaffected, although it looks like the back of her head might have gotten nicked by a piece of glass. Thomas (who will be 3 in November) has three tiny little cuts just under the hairline on his forehead which may or may not have been caused by the accident (he's the kind of kid who falls down 87 times a day, so who knows exactly where he picked them up?). Last night he woke up with nightmares, and keeps coming up to us with a concerned look on his face saying "car broken," but otherwise seems to be the happy kid he normally is.

This morning Ben and Laura went to the towing lot where the car is being held awaiting an insurance adjuster, and they almost didn't recognize it. I'm really thankful that they had a larger car (it's a Toyota Avalon), because I bet if they'd been in a smaller one, things would have been much worse. Anyway, I expect that Ben will get pictures tomorrow, when the insurance guy is supposed to show up. The Avalon was their only car (Ben has a motorcycle that he commutes to work on when it's warm enough), so they're pretty much without transportation till they get word on how much the insurance company will be giving them. For the moment they're borrowing our old van, since we don't know if their insurance will pay for a rental yet, although they won't be able to keep doing that, because it's a clutch and Laura doesn't know how to drive one. I may end up lending them Lizzy, since she's an automatic and is the largest of our cars. They've already ordered new car seats, although of course they're still using the old ones till they show up (seats that have been in a crash are better than no seats at all!).

And we're all just so, so thankful that we're not planning a funeral, or trying to figure out how to care for a paraplegic, or something equally horrific. It's a miracle, plain and simple.

Oh, and the tire tread Ben was trying to avoid? Turned out to be a black coat. We all know for sure now what they've been telling us on the news lately-- If you see something in the road, just hit it. Don't try to avoid it. Even if it had been the tire tread he thought it was, it would have been so much better than this.

But I'm just so glad that I still have my sister, and my brother-in-law, and my niece and nephew. So, so glad.

Laundry. Lots of it. I really need to stop putting that off until I have 87 loads to do. :P At least the weather is gorgeous so I can use our clothesline in the back. :P

Refilling a prescription and picking up some foaming pipe snake for the shower drain.

Cleaning my disgusting mess of a room.

Related: changing my bed. Hmm. Maybe I should wash my blankets next, so I can hang them out and they'll be nice and dry before night?

Downloading a few Mat Kearney songs (he was the opening act at the Keane concert the other night). Or maybe buying his CD, if I can find it in town.

Start a real update post, to be completed tomorrow afternoon.

Hmm. It's already 2:45, and my niece and nephew are coming over tonight so their folks can go on a date.

Who wants to bet I'll accomplish my list? :P

I made a Dreamwidth. Just in case. Paid for it, too. No plans to abandon LJ at all, but I really like that I can import my whole journal, comments included, in case it finally becomes intolerable over here.

Plus, I could get my username without any underscores or numbers. :P

If/when I get any invite codes, I'll let you know.


Things are going pretty well. I'll post a nice big update this weekend.

I will have a more substantive post soon, though. I've got a few things percolating in my brain. :P

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

These five things are from connielane:

( Jane Austen, Wahleecon, Orlando Bloom, Religion, My Family )

Hey, that was fun. Anyone want five things? Or want to give me five more?

Hi, folks. :) It should come as no surprise to any of you that I've been having a rough few months-- usually when I hit rough patches, my posting to LJ drops dramatically. Not that I've been all that diligent about posting in the last couple of years, but even so, it's gotten to the point of ridiculousness. Well. Anyway. I've started seeing a counselor again, and she recommended that I journal more often. So I'm trying. I've bought a Moleskine notebook to carry around with me, and I've already written a few pages in it. In addition, I'm going to try to update my LJ at least once a week. In fact, I hope to do two posts a week: one substantive update, and one Movies My Family Quotes post. And who knows? Maybe I'll even post more than that.

So to jump-start my new posting routine, I give you that 25 things about me meme that went around Facebook. I got tagged a couple of times, but didn't get to it until now. So here we are instead. :P

( 25 random things you may not know about me )

Okay, that took most of the evening. :P I'm not tagging anyone, since pretty much everyone I know has done it. Ah, well.