I am So. Freaking. Tired.

[wahlee]

And I'm sick of it. I get 7.5-8 hours of sleep every night. I should not be this tired. The doctors can't find anything wrong with me, and the remedies they've suggested-- ranging from sleeping pills to CPAP machines to getting my tonsils out-- have helped not at all. I'm starting to think it's psychological, but insurance will only cover half of the sleep therapist fees, and neither I nor my parents have the money right now. I'm getting more and more cranky and restless, because there's so much I want to do but I just don't have the energy for it. I don't want to help my energy level artificially with caffeine or ginseng or whatever because it will only be counterproductive in the long run.

I feel like all my creativity has been sapped. Like there's this room inside my brain that I used to be able to get to and open and use, but I lost the key. And then a brick wall of tiredness was built in front of the entrance. I can remember what it's like, but I can't do it anymore. And it's incredibly frustrating.

And I'm starting grad school on the 30th. If I can't find the energy or creativity to write a simple essay on Harry's communication skills, how will I survive Tolkien and 18th century British Lit? How will I write my term papers? How will I even come up with the *ideas*?

Human skill has failed me. It's time to turn to faith.

Prayers would be appreciated.